What I’m Reading

* How To Find A Mentor (Twitter thread): “I’ve been thinking about how lucky I am to have so many amazing mentors; everyone seems to know that mentors are important, but struggle with the process; so let’s talk about: mentors/mentorship.”

* The Powerful Predictor Behind Successful Relationships: “As meaningless as they seemed on the surface, at a deeper level, exchanges were highly nuanced, emotional signals, what Gottman called ‘bids.’ And it turns out that how we respond to bids is the key to successful relationships.”

* The Problem Of Mindfulness: “Mindfulness has become something of a one-size-fits-all response for a host of modern ills – something ideologically innocent that fits easily into anyone’s life, regardless of background, beliefs or values.”

* How To Let Go: “Letting things go is a skill we can learn, but it’s easily confused with making things go, which is usually impossible.”

* The Psychology Of Prediction: “Prediction is hard. Either you know that or you’re in denial about it. A lot of the reason it’s hard is because the visible stuff that happens in the world is a small fraction of the hidden stuff that goes on inside people’s heads. The former is easy to overanalyze; the latter is easy to ignore.”

* The Natural Cure for Burnout Is Profound and Utter Awe: “We can’t help but view our circumstances against a broader backdrop. Awe forces us, even if only for a few brief moments, to expand our awareness.”

* How To Be Happy: “Some highlights: – Be where you are, not in past or future – Surround yourself wisely (people and things) -Live below your means – Don’t compare – Exercise – Spend time in nature – Sleep – Cut out bullsh*t – Help others – Know it’s ok to be sad too.” (Brad Stulberg)

* On Adult ADD: “I believe experience is the only way to truly know what works. You can read or philosophize forever, but what are you going to try?”

* Your Brain Can Only Take So Much Focus: “Unfocus allows us to update information in the brain, giving us access to deeper parts of ourselves and enhancing our agility, creativity and decision-making too.”

* ‘Find and Follow’ Your Passion and Debunking Other Self-Help Myths: “Passion is far more nuanced than most people think, and a superficial understanding of passion all to often leads people to suffer unnecessarily.”

* Earth vs. the Universe: “Anxiety, like all our emotions, plays a key role in evolutionary progress. I’m more anxious and afraid than I’ve ever been. And it’s taking a toll. However, I continue to be irrational and jump off things, as the universe speaks to me, and demands it.”

* Habits vs. Goals: “First we make our habits, then our habits make us.”

* Inseparable Pairs: “As a rule of thumb, people who are extremely talented at one thing tend to be deficient at another. The world isn’t fair enough for it to be otherwise, and amazing skills tends to come from a hyper focus that monopolizes mental bandwidth away from learning how other things work.”

* Authenticity Under Fire: “Researchers are calling into question authenticity as a scientifically viable concept.”

* If Self-Discipline Feels Difficult, You’re Doing It Wrong: “Chances are, at some point in your life, you’ve tried to change your behavior through sheer willpower. And chances are, you also failed miserably. Don’t feel bad! This is what happens most of the time.”

* The Two Types of Authenticity – HBR Study (short podcast): “Restaurants stand in for any business in this example – if you can exhibit either one of these types of authenticity there were (clear) benefits.”

* Two Ways To Get Better At Something: “Rather than going for the maximum challenge you can handle (for a mercifully short time) you’re looking for that “just challenging enough to improve” window. And once you find it, you live in it.”

* The Power of Symbolism and The Architecture of Mind: “Symbols are among the most powerful of all ideas. Be very cautious in what you choose to take as a means of representing yourself, or what you let others use to represent things to you. The symbol is almost a direct link to your mind’s concept network, so be sure to look deeper, as it is the only way to defend your thoughts from those who would influence them.”

* The Science of Identity and Self-Awareness: “Our brains serve our bodies, rather than the obverse – a liberating idea.”

* 41 Powerful Journaling Exercises for Mind Expansion and Effective Behavior Change

* Do-Something Syndrome: “We convince ourselves that motion is better than inaction. Yet doing something isn’t the best way to achieve desired outcomes. Here’s how to get better results.”

* Zen Is All of Life: Remembering Roshi Bernie Glassman: “He would want us to stand strong in not knowing, and to bear witness to the joys and sorrows of this world, including our own sadness at his death. And he certainly would want us to meet the world with unfiltered compassion.”

* Stay In The Game: This is one of THE MOST inspirational stories of resilience and hope and persistence you will ever read and there are a ton of takeaways.

* Your Professional Decline Is Coming (Much) Sooner Than You Think: “Whole sections of bookstores are dedicated to becoming successful. There is no section marked ‘Managing Your Professional Decline.'”

* The Psychology Behind Unethical Behavior: “If no one tells you ‘no,’ you have a problem.”

* A Few Thoughts On Public Speaking: “Make your point, make it quick, make it memorable, and move on.”

* The Elephant in the Brain: Hidden Motives in Everyday Life (Book Summary): “Your brain is not the king of decisions like we’d like to think, but merely the rationalizer of them.”

Below are some of the most intriguing, thought-provoking and actionable performance-related content pieces I read, watched or listened to this week. (Pic of a shirt I made based on one of my favorite Josh Brown quotes @reformedbroker). Do Long-Term Goals Bring Happiness? “If a goal doesn’t change your present behavior, it’s useless. If the goal … Read more

* Why Bad Things Happen to Good Decisions: “We want to deserve success. The problem is the world doesn’t always comply with our wishes. Following a good process can lead to a bad outcome because of uncertainty.”

* The Peculiar Blindness of Experts: “Credentialed authorities are comically bad at predicting the future. But reliable forecasting is possible.”

* People Don’t Actually Know Themselves Very Well: “People know themselves best on the traits that are tough to observe and easy to admit.”

* The Dangers Of Comparing Yourself To Others: “You can be anything but you can’t be everything. When we compare ourselves to others, we’re often comparing their best features against our average ones.”

* How To Ask For And Receive Emotional Support: “Even when things seem fine, check on people. Even when you’re scared to get the real answers, check on people. Even if you feel like you’re bothering someone, check on people. And sometimes, you’re going to be the person who needs checking in on. So check in on yourself too.”

* Positive Takeaways From Boredom: “Along the way, we forget that boredom has many important things to teach us. It is, at its best, a confused, inarticulate, but genuine signal from a deep part of our minds that something is very wrong.”

* Book Summary: The Laws of Human Nature

* Obsessing Over Productivity: “Sometimes—whether literally or metaphorically—it’s worth making the effort to get there the hard way. Make a habit of challenging your most comfortable habits.”

* Five Lessons From History: “The most important lessons from history are the takeaways that are so broad they can apply to other fields, other eras, and other people. Hard times make people do and think things they’d never imagine when things are calm.”

* Build Purpose to Prepare for the Unknown: “Two of the big misconceptions about purpose are that (1) you have to ‘find your purpose’ and (2) there is only one purpose that is meant for you. In fact, purpose is something you get to construct for yourself.”

* 5 Ways to Validate Yourself: “The goal isn’t to stop reaching out to others. It’s to be there for yourself.”

* Making The Most Out Of What You Read (6 minute podcast): “Nobody cares how many books we’ve read this week, this month, or this year. What truly matters is what we’re doing with the information we’re consuming.”

* How to Open Doors For Other People: “If empathy is recognizing another’s perspective, consideration for the other needs to be externalized from you for it to exist and build rapport.”